Keep calm and reach for the better feeling thought. I like this! There’s always a better feeling thought when you’re in a funk.
In my experience, what works best is to go one step up the “better feeling thought” ladder. Massive leaps don’t work as well and leave you feeling like you’re lying to yourself.
For example say you’re feeling stuck in a rut with your work and not getting along well with your boss. You might be thinking “what a jerk” .. “he’s freaking anal,” “this isn’t fair” “I feel trapped” etc..
All those thoughts are valid and you might think them automatically. However, you might be feeling very distressed and like you urgently need to change something, to feel a sense of relief.
When first practicing the art of searching for the better feeling thought you might try to jump to a fantasy like “maybe I could walk out tomorrow and find a new job within a week” .
This might be possible for some people, they might have the confidence/ situation to pull this off successfully. For many this might be too large of a mental leap. Their inner critic might rebut “As if I’m going to find a job in a week” .. “I’ve got to pay rent next Tues” etc etc, until they’re spinning out in a negative thinking cycle.
Instead the better feeling thought might be “I have the power to improve my situation, even if it takes some time.” or “my boss is a psychopath and everyone thinks that, I don’t take it personally”, or “I can handle this for now but I’ll start dedicating time each week to looking for a new job”.
Maybe they might just want to look at their work in a different light; look at it as a means to an end and what life goals it’s serving: “I’m making headway with my goal to travel overseas, I’ve got three more months until my awesome trip.” You get the drift.
Right now as I sit here writing this blog I’m house sitting at my parents place. Waiting for them to return early, any moment now, from a holiday they cut short because Mum hasn’t been feeling well. She’s been getting chest pains and recent heart test results showed up some abnormalities.
I wouldn’t be human if I wasn’t concerned about this. But still there are better feeling thoughts available to me. “I can offer a small gesture of kindness when they arrive home, offer to buy some groceries or make a meal.” .. “I’m there for my Mum as much as I can be and that’s all I can do” etc etc
There’s always a better feeling thought. A reminder to self as much as anyone else.
If you like this blog please consider supporting me by checking out my favourite mental health expert: Dr Kelly Brogan MD (Holistic Psychiatrist). I’m an online affiliate of her 44 Day Vital Mind Reset Course. It’s amazing!!