To get what you want don’t lean


In this quirky video the late self-help author Stuart Wilde says

“Don’t lean …. By leaning into things you push them away … Stop leaning emotionally and stand straight.. Then the things you want come and find you”

..or “Pull don’t push” as he expresses it in some of his other works. Pushiness he suggests is overrated, a product of our overly aggressive or “yang” way of life. Instead it is best to go gently: to be a compelling invitation rather than a domineering force or command.

I thought of this video today as I found myself being overly pushy with a certain situation. I won’t go into the details but I was holding on to something too tightly. I was like a dog barking up the wrong tree whilst leaning in and it was counter productive. It just left me feeling upset and disempowered.

I think sometimes we’ve got to lean, like they sing in the song “Lean on me” .. When you’re not strong the natural tendency is to lean and to allow other people to be your support .. To be the rock.. And that’s ok .. Sometimes.

But I think it backfires when you’re leaning on the wrong person / thing / situation. When you’re making an impossible demand of someone or something and you already know on some level it’s not serving you.

I did this today and I’m taking a moment to recognise it. I forgive myself but it’s a lesson learned. To that situation I let it go now. I give it up to something higher. I reclaim my dignity and stand tall .. And wait patiently for what is truly right for me to come and knock on my door.


The Truth about Mental Health blog is an affiliate of Dr Kelly Brogan, Holistic Woman’s Health Psychiatrist. Check out her 44 day online course that explores holistic interventions like diet, meditation, exercise and mindset. 

a mind of your own


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